We Did It!

I cannot believe it’s been a month since I last blogged. It kinda feels like an eternity, but also where did the last 4 weeks go?!? My class load this month (June) is crazy busy, so this might be one of just a few updates this month, but I just wanted to come on and share some of our WEDDING photos with you! That’s right- we go hitched on Saturday!

We had a Pandemic Wedding with just our immediate family (12 people in total- including the photographer) and it was perfect. It was held at my mom’s home overlooking the White Mountains and on the Saco River. The setting was beautiful and yes, it did rain for maybe 5 minutes (while we were saying our vows- of course-), but it was just the best day ever. We had so many wrenches thrown into our day- Pandemic, over-priced venues, figuring out how to zoom the Wedding with family and friends, flower shop writing down our wedding date wrong (and scrambling to find replacement flower 3 hours prior to the ceremony), trouble finding a shirt for Alex since most shops around here are either closed or offering limited hours, and trying to do seating arrangements with keeping social distancing in mind.

The weather turned out to be perfect once the ceremony finished (of course, it had to pour rain during that time) and it was such a fun afternoon. We ordered custom-printed face masks for everyone to have, ordered takeout to be separated per family so no one would need to share food, and kept our social distancing pretty well (for the most part).

I remember being so nervous the morning of the Wedding- could barely eat breakfast and felt rushed to get so many things done (I can’t even imagine how I would have felt if we were having the bigger Wedding we were originally planning)! But then, once I got my hair done and figured the flowers out- my nerves went away and I was just so excited. I honestly haven’t felt this at peace and content in a LONG time. Since our wedding, I’ve felt so much less stress and pressure. It’s a weird feeling, but honestly maybe it’s just pure happiness? IDK. I am, however, also really looking forward to getting a bunch of new kitchen items from our registry to be delivered this week (ha). I’m pretty happy Alex is on board with it since he does also benefit from the gifts (he gets me to cook delicious meals.. ; ) ).

Our photos have all been uploaded and we’re going to look through them hopefully tonight! I can’t wait to share more of a recap with you when I get time (I’ve got another exam to study for on Friday).

It was such a beautiful day and we can’t wait to share more photos and memories with you! We honestly couldn’t have done it without our families- they helped us put together our own little gathering and helped us celebrate. We’re so lucky!

What It Really Feels Like Cancelling Your Wedding During a Pandemic

6/6/20 was our day. We physically walked through close to 30 venues. Spent 5 months trying to decide where our perfect spot would be. We didn’t want anything too extravagant and where we would be paying the majority of it, we also didn’t want to start our lives together in debt (who does?). We got engaged in October 2018, moved to Maine in June 2019, and began our search shortly thereafter.

Our wedding date should have been in 36 days. I had literally dreamt of this day since I was a little girl with my barbies (totally clichè right?). I remember wearing a tiara around my house envisioning myself getting married (probably to that cute older kid that was at my babysitter’s house). After dating for 5 years (I literally knew I wanted to marry him after 5 or 6 months so this felt like an eternity), it still came as a surprise when we decided to get engaged. Actually I’m pretty sure I bawled my eyes out because I was so happy and surprised.

Needless to say, I’ve been envisioning and waiting for my Wedding day for a really really long time. June 6th sounded like the perfect day- I mean who can forget 6/6/20 as their Anniversary date? I would have just turned 30, Alex just turning 37, it was a Saturday - everything was falling into place. I already found my Wedding dress last summer (for $50!), so a summer wedding fit it perfectly.

Invitations were mailed out, we began to make plans. We met with Florists, DJs, Photographers, made down-payments on all of them. Then, the Coronavirus hit us all hard.

In the beginning, I had trouble envisioning it affecting our wedding (it was only early March- how could this last that long?). Then, others around us started to cancel or rebook their Wedding date and it broke my heart to imagine that becoming a reality. I had all of my outfits picked out for the weekend- I couldn’t wait for the morning-after brunch! I envisioned our pizza buffet during the reception. I couldn’t wait to stay in our fancy manor for the weekend with amazing mountain views. Now, those dreams were slowly fading away.

I’m working as an LNA during these times and getting my degree to become an RN in August, so I’m certainly fairly practical when it comes to envisioning the impact that the virus can have on us here in Northern New England. I’m not on the frontlines, but I am in a long-term care facility right now and have heard enough conversations to know that holding a large event in early June is not a good decision. This reality crushed me.

We talked of postponing our wedding, but how can we really know what things will look like in the next 7 or 8 or 12 months? It would be awful to set a new date and then have to reschedule it again. Also, I had been dreaming of June 6th for months (and before a date was even set- I’ve been dreaming of this day for decades). I knew we couldn’t ask family or friends to travel or choose not to come to our Wedding, so we ultimately decided to cancel. We lost our deposits, money that we had scrounged up during an already very tight time (I’m going back to school full-time and we are currently relying on basically one income to take care of all our bills, animals, and home).

We ultimately decided to still get married on June 6th. We’re holding a small elopement at a family member’s home overlooking the river. Our immediate family will be there (7 people), but I’m anticipating most either won’t get out of their car or will stay a social distance away. My mom became an ordained minister so she can legally marry us since our original one can no longer come. Our photographer will still be there, so we’re thankful for that. We won’t be able to hug our parents after saying ‘I Do’. Maybe we can do take-out and sit in a giant circle after the ceremony, but it really depends on what things look like a month from now. We’ll have our first dance, not on a floor overlooking the White Mountains, but in a field along the river on our cellphones probably (thank goodness for technology these days). We’ll share our vows with each other and stream the ceremony on Zoom for all those who were invited can feel like they’re taking part in it with us.

It’s not the same and it’s not what any of us envisioned, but we’re making do. In the midst of uncertainty, it’s nice to know that June 6th will still be our special day.